I absolutely love this song and it is so fitting for today. Unfortunately, I am at work and have no man, but we can all dream...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Win Some, Lose Some, and Sometimes You Just Get Tired of Trying
Today is Thanksgiving and while I am truly thankful for my family and friends and the difference in my financial situation, I'm also sad. I'm sad because I'm starting to realize that perhaps me and my friends have a different definition of 'friendship'.
I have this crazy idea that friends should spend time together and not just email and text each other to death. I think friends should know who you are as a person, not create a persona of you, after being around each other for a over two years or ten years. But maybe I'm just asking too much of others or like with men, I'm choosing the wrong friends.
One friend in particular has me sad today. He said he loved me two days ago and then yesterday we were done. We both have agreed that friendship, or friendship with benefits, is about as far as we can go with each other for various reasons, but he is always scrutinizing the things that I say and do as if we are dating and he's lookng for the out. So yesterday I gave him that out. I was tired of it. I was tired of trying to live up to a standard that was constantly changing. Funny thing though, as I was thinking about trying not to think about the situation, another friend sends me a text wishing me a happy holiday and I let him know what was going on with me. He put it all into perspective right quick for me with a text that read, "Well, it's not like you ever thought he was the ONE." True, but it still hurts.
It hurts that after five years, I'm still not understood. After five years, I'm still being judged by past situations and insecurities. After five years, you don't see ME.
He likes to say that "I am not you and you are not me" and yet he wants me to act like him, or how he thinks I should act, but I can't. He wants me to look a certain way, but I don't. I am me and I am proud of me, flaws and all.
I'm sorry for him that, contrary to his claims, he can't just enjoy life without analyzing each situation. I'm sorry that he feels lonely although there are people all around him, yet he has boxed himself into a 'safe' corner. I mean after all if you aren't interested in others and don't take the time to get to really KNOW others, then you can only care about them to a point and that protects you. Right?
Well, I think I have done my best in this friendship and I have no regrets there. I guess the season has passed and the reason will be revealed through other life experiences IF I have captured the lesson.
I have this crazy idea that friends should spend time together and not just email and text each other to death. I think friends should know who you are as a person, not create a persona of you, after being around each other for a over two years or ten years. But maybe I'm just asking too much of others or like with men, I'm choosing the wrong friends.
One friend in particular has me sad today. He said he loved me two days ago and then yesterday we were done. We both have agreed that friendship, or friendship with benefits, is about as far as we can go with each other for various reasons, but he is always scrutinizing the things that I say and do as if we are dating and he's lookng for the out. So yesterday I gave him that out. I was tired of it. I was tired of trying to live up to a standard that was constantly changing. Funny thing though, as I was thinking about trying not to think about the situation, another friend sends me a text wishing me a happy holiday and I let him know what was going on with me. He put it all into perspective right quick for me with a text that read, "Well, it's not like you ever thought he was the ONE." True, but it still hurts.
It hurts that after five years, I'm still not understood. After five years, I'm still being judged by past situations and insecurities. After five years, you don't see ME.
He likes to say that "I am not you and you are not me" and yet he wants me to act like him, or how he thinks I should act, but I can't. He wants me to look a certain way, but I don't. I am me and I am proud of me, flaws and all.
I'm sorry for him that, contrary to his claims, he can't just enjoy life without analyzing each situation. I'm sorry that he feels lonely although there are people all around him, yet he has boxed himself into a 'safe' corner. I mean after all if you aren't interested in others and don't take the time to get to really KNOW others, then you can only care about them to a point and that protects you. Right?
Well, I think I have done my best in this friendship and I have no regrets there. I guess the season has passed and the reason will be revealed through other life experiences IF I have captured the lesson.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, September 05, 2008
Feeling Full - Superhero Feeling the Weight
I just read ABB's (look to your left under my comfort foods) post. I swear she says some ish that will make you think, and make you feel bad. Last night I went completely off on my son, who didn't deserve it, at least not all of it. Once again this year I am at a point where the money is so tight we better get used to sandwiches and I'm deciding which bills will and won't be paid, and how I'm going to afford the rest of their school supplies.
Child support my ass.
I just shelled out over $1000 between my 5 year old's private school and my 8 year old's after school care, and now my son is telling me that his coach said I need to buy other things for him to play in the actual football games.
EXCUSE ME
What the hell was the registration fee for? These people severely anger me. It's as if they themselves are not parents. I don't understand why they wait until the last minute to tell you these things instead of putting it out there upfront.
What's crazy for me is that I can relate all of this back to the politics of today. I've never been so acutely aware of how these things and who is in office affects my personal situation: No Child Left Behind BS, failing school systems and their bureaucracy, public vs private school, funding for after school activities, and parks and recreation centers, child support enforcement laws and the list goes on.
Child support my ass.
I just shelled out over $1000 between my 5 year old's private school and my 8 year old's after school care, and now my son is telling me that his coach said I need to buy other things for him to play in the actual football games.
EXCUSE ME
What the hell was the registration fee for? These people severely anger me. It's as if they themselves are not parents. I don't understand why they wait until the last minute to tell you these things instead of putting it out there upfront.
What's crazy for me is that I can relate all of this back to the politics of today. I've never been so acutely aware of how these things and who is in office affects my personal situation: No Child Left Behind BS, failing school systems and their bureaucracy, public vs private school, funding for after school activities, and parks and recreation centers, child support enforcement laws and the list goes on.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Simply Ridiculous
My baby's birthday was last week. All week her father had been asking me what I was going to do because his family was coming into town and he wanted to invite them to the party. I already feel like I see him way too much for my own taste, so sharing a day with him was not in my plans. Not to mention, when my daughter had her second birthday, I threw her a pool party and he invited about 30 of the 40 people who were there to her party and only contributed popscicles and two salmon steaks that only he and his mother ate. Needless to say, I was not interested.
I went and consulted the visitation agreement. I am only obligated to give him 4 hours on her birthday.
So, I let him know that I would be taking cupcakes to her school and I would be having something small at the house so she can celebrate her b'day with her brother and sister and friends that don't attend that school. I also let him know that I would bring her to him Saturday evening so that he and his family could celebrate with her together.
He did not show up at her school to celebrate with her class.
He did pick her up from school the day of her birthday and brought her to me because he had "something to do before seven". As he was dropping her off he asked her if her mommie was going to take her out to eat. Uhm, am I not the one giving her not, one, but two parties already? AND they charge for the toys on the cakes now! But that's another story.
On Saturday, I threw her movie party at home since the weather was not conducive to a swim party at the park. She was fine with that and so were my pockets. When it was time for me to take her to her dad's house, she was not ready to go and her friends were not ready to leave, so I let them have another hour together. When I got to his house I was shocked to find only one car in the driveway, his. When he answered the door, I could smell the gangha. I knew we would not be there long.
His family was not in town, the local family was not coming, there was no party. The only thing he had to say was, "Well, did you call before you came?" He seemed to be entertaining company. Why would I call if I already told you when I would be bringing her and I was an hour late any way?!
Then he had the nerve to say to my daughter, "Well, you missed Amy's* party." Who the hell cares about some other child's party, no offense to that child, but what about the party you promised your daughter? The one that she went to school telling her teacher about? The one that you have been pumping her up for all week?
There was never any party plans. He had planned to invite his family to the party I was hosting and jump on the bandwagon like it was something WE were planning the same as he had done when she turned two. Not happening Bruh, not happening!
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I went and consulted the visitation agreement. I am only obligated to give him 4 hours on her birthday.
So, I let him know that I would be taking cupcakes to her school and I would be having something small at the house so she can celebrate her b'day with her brother and sister and friends that don't attend that school. I also let him know that I would bring her to him Saturday evening so that he and his family could celebrate with her together.
He did not show up at her school to celebrate with her class.
He did pick her up from school the day of her birthday and brought her to me because he had "something to do before seven". As he was dropping her off he asked her if her mommie was going to take her out to eat. Uhm, am I not the one giving her not, one, but two parties already? AND they charge for the toys on the cakes now! But that's another story.
On Saturday, I threw her movie party at home since the weather was not conducive to a swim party at the park. She was fine with that and so were my pockets. When it was time for me to take her to her dad's house, she was not ready to go and her friends were not ready to leave, so I let them have another hour together. When I got to his house I was shocked to find only one car in the driveway, his. When he answered the door, I could smell the gangha. I knew we would not be there long.
His family was not in town, the local family was not coming, there was no party. The only thing he had to say was, "Well, did you call before you came?" He seemed to be entertaining company. Why would I call if I already told you when I would be bringing her and I was an hour late any way?!
Then he had the nerve to say to my daughter, "Well, you missed Amy's* party." Who the hell cares about some other child's party, no offense to that child, but what about the party you promised your daughter? The one that she went to school telling her teacher about? The one that you have been pumping her up for all week?
There was never any party plans. He had planned to invite his family to the party I was hosting and jump on the bandwagon like it was something WE were planning the same as he had done when she turned two. Not happening Bruh, not happening!
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Adventures of a Single Mom II
So school has begun and I am now juggling this new schedule of riding the shuttle to work, getting my daughters to school and getting my son to practice in the afternoon. My middle child’s persistent requests for riding the bus to school may be answered. I just hate putting her on the bus at 6:25am when school doesn’t start until 8am, but with her riding the bus, I can get my other daughter to school between 7:00am-7:30am and get the 8:20am shuttle so that I can be at work by 9:00am. So in essence I will be up for 4 hours before my work day even starts. Then in the afternoon I will get the 5:20pm shuttle so that I can get my daughter by 6:30pm and pick up my son and take him to football practice. I was able to convince BD2 to pick his child up in the afternoon since he claims it wouldn’t work for me to drop her off with him in the morning so I can take an earlier shuttle in the morning and afternoon so I can pick everyone up on time and deliver my son to practice on time. Yes, I finally gave in to my son’s request to play football. Unfortunately, the coaching staff wants the parents to stay at practice the entire time so we do not get home until late then we eat late and go to bed late just to wake up early and do it all over again. I guess that’s just the life of a super mom.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Frank Ski Does It Again
Ok, I know this is a different direction from what I usually blog about, but my brother actually gave me this idea when he was here this weekend. I was complaining about the mis-information that Frank Ski and Wanda Smith are usually passing out on V-103 in Atlanta and how hard it is for me to get in on the call line to speak with them to give a 'balanced' view of whatever the particular topic is (I'm convinced they have a block on callers with sense). My brother suggested that I keep a blog about it and then they won't be able to ignore me, assuming I have good readership. Let's see if he's right.
This morning I spent 50minutes of my 600/month cell phone minutes on hold waiting to ask Frank about his latest contradictory statements. I sat and listened as he and Wanda gave a single mom advice on dating, as they chatted back and forth amongst themselves about the topic, played music, commercials and lamented over Monica's show last night. Never once did anyone come back to the phone or check in with me so here I am blogging about what I wanted to say on air had I been given the opportunity.
A few weeks ago Frank and Wanda did their own show on CNN's Black In America special. Of course, the conversation eroded down to the lowest common denominator, sex and dating in Atlanta because of course that's all we care about as Black people. In that conversation among all of the other crazy statements that came out of his mouth, Frank said, and I am paraphrasing, that women in Atlanta kill him with their 'I have my own career, money, car, house, etc.' and thinking they are successful. To him, women are not successful if they do not have a husband and some kids.
Fast forward to this morning when they were talking about celebrities, mainly Puffy, and they threw in some local artists for good measure, who are successful, but not married. In this conversation, I actually found myself agreeing with Wanda when she said a successful man is helped by a strong woman supporting him, like in the case of Senator Obama and his wife. Frank countered this by stating we don't know that their relationship is real and these men are successful without women and furthermore they aren't even thinking about that because they are so focused on their "empires". He gave examples of Russell Simmons and Bill Gates who have given up control of their widely successful companies and so now they can focus more on family. If I'm not mistaken, Bill Gates was married while he was running Microsoft and Russell was married when he had Def Jam. So that just kind of proved Wanda's point.
Frank’s wife seems like a very smart and strong woman herself. I wonder if she just wants to smack him upside the head for some of the things he says on air, or does she just not even bother to listen to his foolishness?
What are your thoughts about 1) How success is defined; and 2) Do you really have to have a significant other to complete the picture?
This morning I spent 50minutes of my 600/month cell phone minutes on hold waiting to ask Frank about his latest contradictory statements. I sat and listened as he and Wanda gave a single mom advice on dating, as they chatted back and forth amongst themselves about the topic, played music, commercials and lamented over Monica's show last night. Never once did anyone come back to the phone or check in with me so here I am blogging about what I wanted to say on air had I been given the opportunity.
A few weeks ago Frank and Wanda did their own show on CNN's Black In America special. Of course, the conversation eroded down to the lowest common denominator, sex and dating in Atlanta because of course that's all we care about as Black people. In that conversation among all of the other crazy statements that came out of his mouth, Frank said, and I am paraphrasing, that women in Atlanta kill him with their 'I have my own career, money, car, house, etc.' and thinking they are successful. To him, women are not successful if they do not have a husband and some kids.
Fast forward to this morning when they were talking about celebrities, mainly Puffy, and they threw in some local artists for good measure, who are successful, but not married. In this conversation, I actually found myself agreeing with Wanda when she said a successful man is helped by a strong woman supporting him, like in the case of Senator Obama and his wife. Frank countered this by stating we don't know that their relationship is real and these men are successful without women and furthermore they aren't even thinking about that because they are so focused on their "empires". He gave examples of Russell Simmons and Bill Gates who have given up control of their widely successful companies and so now they can focus more on family. If I'm not mistaken, Bill Gates was married while he was running Microsoft and Russell was married when he had Def Jam. So that just kind of proved Wanda's point.
Frank’s wife seems like a very smart and strong woman herself. I wonder if she just wants to smack him upside the head for some of the things he says on air, or does she just not even bother to listen to his foolishness?
What are your thoughts about 1) How success is defined; and 2) Do you really have to have a significant other to complete the picture?
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
The Adventures of a Single Mom
I know I said I would write more of the juicy stuff that everyone likes to read, but I'm saving it for the book. Yes, I've actually started on that book that everyone has been suggesting I write for the last several years. Sister girl needs another stream of income. It's coming slowly but surely, the way I like it (sometimes). I'm sorry I digress.
Anywho, I don't know if it's age or what, but I'm really feeling like I need to hurry up on my life plans. I've had a couple of setbacks this summer, but I'm still good. I just have to rethink how I'm going to make things happen for me and my family.
First, my youngest daughter's school registration happened to be "overlooked" so I've been fighting with the DeKalb County School System, GA (yes, I'm shouting them out) since March. They've been giving me the run-around at the theme school office telling me to wait, wait, and wait some more. Finally, I get a call this Monday from one of the higher ups and he tells me there aren't any spaces left and unless someone withdraws their child, my child won't have a seat. Nevermind the fact that she should have sibling priority, or that I went to work late when I registered her for the school or that I already have a child at that school. I guess my ass/breasts weren't big enough to get noticed by the Vice-Principal so that I could put her in on the sly without alll the formalities of going through the process.
That very same day that I was given an absolute 'no' on my daughter attending that school, I was also told by the dentist that my son absolutely has to get braces or he will lose some of his teeth due to crowding. I had put off getting his braces because I had the little one in private school and now since the public school screwed up her registration, I am in a position where I have to chose between sending my child to a decent school ($10,000) and saving my other child's teeth ($4,000). I hate to find out how much I will have to spend for his glasses at the end of the month.
I had so many plans for the money I was going to save by not having to send her back to private school. One of those plans included me going back to school for my PhD, but now that will have to wait indefinitely. I discovered that the program I wanted to attend wasn't really accredited. They have the backing of some great associations, but none of them are recognized by the US Department of Education. So, on to plan B. That will require 4-6 years and a whole lot of money, but I will at least be considered a physician. That too shall wait.
So in the meantime, along with rearing children, sending them to public school just to then also home school, work, side business and writing a book, I am also working on my doula certification. No wonder I don't date.
Anywho, I don't know if it's age or what, but I'm really feeling like I need to hurry up on my life plans. I've had a couple of setbacks this summer, but I'm still good. I just have to rethink how I'm going to make things happen for me and my family.
First, my youngest daughter's school registration happened to be "overlooked" so I've been fighting with the DeKalb County School System, GA (yes, I'm shouting them out) since March. They've been giving me the run-around at the theme school office telling me to wait, wait, and wait some more. Finally, I get a call this Monday from one of the higher ups and he tells me there aren't any spaces left and unless someone withdraws their child, my child won't have a seat. Nevermind the fact that she should have sibling priority, or that I went to work late when I registered her for the school or that I already have a child at that school. I guess my ass/breasts weren't big enough to get noticed by the Vice-Principal so that I could put her in on the sly without alll the formalities of going through the process.
That very same day that I was given an absolute 'no' on my daughter attending that school, I was also told by the dentist that my son absolutely has to get braces or he will lose some of his teeth due to crowding. I had put off getting his braces because I had the little one in private school and now since the public school screwed up her registration, I am in a position where I have to chose between sending my child to a decent school ($10,000) and saving my other child's teeth ($4,000). I hate to find out how much I will have to spend for his glasses at the end of the month.
I had so many plans for the money I was going to save by not having to send her back to private school. One of those plans included me going back to school for my PhD, but now that will have to wait indefinitely. I discovered that the program I wanted to attend wasn't really accredited. They have the backing of some great associations, but none of them are recognized by the US Department of Education. So, on to plan B. That will require 4-6 years and a whole lot of money, but I will at least be considered a physician. That too shall wait.
So in the meantime, along with rearing children, sending them to public school just to then also home school, work, side business and writing a book, I am also working on my doula certification. No wonder I don't date.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Spray On Condom
Why didn't anybody tell me that a German inventor has created a spray-on condom?!? It looks easy enough to use, sort of like a spray on tan. My only question is this, because it is a skin tight fit what happens to the semen when the man busts? I mean it really doesn't look like there is anywhere for it to go. Will the condom break? Does it leak? I need some answers on that. And will there be any irritation for his partner?
I guess the researchers will find out through their testing process. Oh yeah men, they are looking for testers...if you are the right size. http://www.spraykondom.de/spraycondom/index.php
I hope it works, I can see having a lot of fun with this product.
I guess the researchers will find out through their testing process. Oh yeah men, they are looking for testers...if you are the right size. http://www.spraykondom.de/spraycondom/index.php
I hope it works, I can see having a lot of fun with this product.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Always Evolving
SO, I don't know if anyone is reading my posts these days, but I will continue to blog. Since starting this page I wasn't sure what it would be about and thus far the subject is constantly changing, but I think I'm going to try something different. I've had several people tell me I need to write a book. After hearing it a thousand times, I thought sure why not.
It ain't as easy as it looks people! I am having the hardest time staying focused, coming up with a story line, etc. I am a bit undisciplined so that is definitely working against me right about now.
So the thought occured to me that I always have people calling me up asking me questions about sexual health, why not make my blog about that?? Hmm, there is a thought! So, I'm going to try it and hopefully I will stand out amongst all of the sex topics online and give men and women some really good information. I can already tell you it's not going to happen over night, but give me about a week or two and I will have something up.
I will say that the first few blogs will probably come from books that I have next to the bed and some from experience, but that's what being a good researcher is all about.
Have a great weekend everyone, anyone, someone.
It ain't as easy as it looks people! I am having the hardest time staying focused, coming up with a story line, etc. I am a bit undisciplined so that is definitely working against me right about now.
So the thought occured to me that I always have people calling me up asking me questions about sexual health, why not make my blog about that?? Hmm, there is a thought! So, I'm going to try it and hopefully I will stand out amongst all of the sex topics online and give men and women some really good information. I can already tell you it's not going to happen over night, but give me about a week or two and I will have something up.
I will say that the first few blogs will probably come from books that I have next to the bed and some from experience, but that's what being a good researcher is all about.
Have a great weekend everyone, anyone, someone.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I'm Back Ya'll
I’ve been toying with the idea of starting this blog up again, clearly starting it won out. I don’t have my good friend to talk to about such things, so I will have to reach out to the blogger community for their comments.
Dating sucks! I know it’s a means to an end, but the game and finding the right connections are such a chore. The men in my life right now have me so ‘noid (annoyed not paranoid).
Situation #1:
I met this dude about two years ago, really in passing, but we seem to keep bumping into each other so I he’s interested, he seems nice, I give him the number. The conversation is BORING as hell. I really know very little about him because he spends the majority of the time telling me about the famous people he works with. Am I suppose to like him for him or for the people he knows? And then ya’ll wonder why women in Atlanta are so star struck…
Situation #2:
Let me begin by saying I LOVE gay black men. One of my ex’s is now gay, but let him know I said that, he prefers bi, but if you have only had dick for the last 5 years, you are gay. But this isn’t about him. I met this new guy online. Once again, he seemed nice, a little churchy, but maybe I need a little of that. Online, the conversation was cool so I give him the number so we can connect. Offline his conversation sucks! I feel like I’m struggling for things to talk about when I’m on the phone with him, but I’m trying to go outside of my normal. I overlooked the fact that he directs choir and sings at/plans weddings, but the signs started appearing and my gaydar went way high! Sign number 1: At least once or twice a week he has to tell me he’s not gay. What straight man does that? Sign number 2: I have heard him scream like a little girl for whatever reason on two occasions at least, and he has had the twang (not trying to stereotype, but ya’ll know). Sign number 3: He went to get his locs twisted by his “brother”. His brother is a truck driver and he previously told me they don’t even really get along. I don’t know ya’ll, but I don’t know of men, let alone truck drivers that are going to twist another man’s hair. I just want him to stop being dishonest with himself.
Situation #3:
I met this guy almost a year ago. Right off the bat I was attracted to him, but strangely I was annoyed by him as well. It may have been the fact that he wouldn’t leave my side from the time he walked up to me. I gave him my number under an assumed name and assumed I never hear from him again. WRONG. He kept calling and I kept sending it to voicemail, but he was persistent so I finally gave him and saw him about 6 months later. He was still annoying, but sexy as ever so I let him hit. I must say I thoroughly enjoyed myself, so when the opportunity arose again about 3 months later; we hooked up again despite the fact that in the interim I discovered he was married. Hey, a woman has needs. This time it wasn’t as good. He wasn’t listening when I said I had had enough of one activity or wanted to try a different position. It was like he had to be in control of how everything went. That happens to be how our conversations go as well. Later, he complained that I was selfish because I wouldn’t give oral or stroke his dick or touch him the way he wanted to be touched. I was cool, at first. I first pointed out that I already put it out there up front that oral was out of the question. At the same time, I was trying to understand exactly what it was he wanted me to do that I didn’t do. When he finished his two hour rant I explained to him that what he wanted I reserve for real relationships, not fuck sessions. We agreed to disagree. The subject came up again yesterday and this time I was pissed because it was his same argument about what HE wanted and what HE didn’t get and what HE was use to. Then he let the words fall, “I care about you and when two people care about each other they should care about what the other wants.” Well, there’s the disconnect, I don’t care about him, I just liked the sex. I guess I better walk away before this gets really ugly. Damn, I can’t do celibacy again so I guess I will have to pull out the big guns this time around.
Dating sucks! I know it’s a means to an end, but the game and finding the right connections are such a chore. The men in my life right now have me so ‘noid (annoyed not paranoid).
Situation #1:
I met this dude about two years ago, really in passing, but we seem to keep bumping into each other so I he’s interested, he seems nice, I give him the number. The conversation is BORING as hell. I really know very little about him because he spends the majority of the time telling me about the famous people he works with. Am I suppose to like him for him or for the people he knows? And then ya’ll wonder why women in Atlanta are so star struck…
Situation #2:
Let me begin by saying I LOVE gay black men. One of my ex’s is now gay, but let him know I said that, he prefers bi, but if you have only had dick for the last 5 years, you are gay. But this isn’t about him. I met this new guy online. Once again, he seemed nice, a little churchy, but maybe I need a little of that. Online, the conversation was cool so I give him the number so we can connect. Offline his conversation sucks! I feel like I’m struggling for things to talk about when I’m on the phone with him, but I’m trying to go outside of my normal. I overlooked the fact that he directs choir and sings at/plans weddings, but the signs started appearing and my gaydar went way high! Sign number 1: At least once or twice a week he has to tell me he’s not gay. What straight man does that? Sign number 2: I have heard him scream like a little girl for whatever reason on two occasions at least, and he has had the twang (not trying to stereotype, but ya’ll know). Sign number 3: He went to get his locs twisted by his “brother”. His brother is a truck driver and he previously told me they don’t even really get along. I don’t know ya’ll, but I don’t know of men, let alone truck drivers that are going to twist another man’s hair. I just want him to stop being dishonest with himself.
Situation #3:
I met this guy almost a year ago. Right off the bat I was attracted to him, but strangely I was annoyed by him as well. It may have been the fact that he wouldn’t leave my side from the time he walked up to me. I gave him my number under an assumed name and assumed I never hear from him again. WRONG. He kept calling and I kept sending it to voicemail, but he was persistent so I finally gave him and saw him about 6 months later. He was still annoying, but sexy as ever so I let him hit. I must say I thoroughly enjoyed myself, so when the opportunity arose again about 3 months later; we hooked up again despite the fact that in the interim I discovered he was married. Hey, a woman has needs. This time it wasn’t as good. He wasn’t listening when I said I had had enough of one activity or wanted to try a different position. It was like he had to be in control of how everything went. That happens to be how our conversations go as well. Later, he complained that I was selfish because I wouldn’t give oral or stroke his dick or touch him the way he wanted to be touched. I was cool, at first. I first pointed out that I already put it out there up front that oral was out of the question. At the same time, I was trying to understand exactly what it was he wanted me to do that I didn’t do. When he finished his two hour rant I explained to him that what he wanted I reserve for real relationships, not fuck sessions. We agreed to disagree. The subject came up again yesterday and this time I was pissed because it was his same argument about what HE wanted and what HE didn’t get and what HE was use to. Then he let the words fall, “I care about you and when two people care about each other they should care about what the other wants.” Well, there’s the disconnect, I don’t care about him, I just liked the sex. I guess I better walk away before this gets really ugly. Damn, I can’t do celibacy again so I guess I will have to pull out the big guns this time around.
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