It ended where it began, Arizona’s. The last nail in the coffin came a few days before when I saw New Guy at the school and the best he could do was wave at me as I was driving off. I sent him a text letting him know that I didn’t appreciate that. Of course, he tried to come back with something about me making more out of it than it really was, but I told him that I was starting to notice a pattern and I didn’t like the picture that was being painted. He got frustrated and didn’t want to speak any more. Later, I texted him and asked exactly what his intentions were regarding me. He didn’t respond until a day later and when he did he said he couldn’t understand the question. (I have since learned that apparently other men read that question a lot differently than I had intended.) I clarified that I wanted to know, which was his interest level was in our relationship. He told me that was putting the horse before the cart and he just wanted me to stop being spoiled. Spoiled? Horse before the cart? Funny, that was never a consideration when he was trying to sleep with me. We went back and forth with a few more text messages and then I finally just said see ya! He came back with some text about me needing to look deep within so that I can be honest and real. Excuse me? I’m not sure what it is he thinks I haven’t been honest or real about, but I was quite honest with him and that is why I let him know that I thought he was a nice guy, just not the nice guy for me. That was then…
Fast forward to Friday night: I’m at the restaurant enjoying the band when I notice New Guy walk through the door. He claims he didn’t see me, but not 10 seconds after he arrived I received a text from him stating that he had been thinking about me all day. Really? I politely deleted his text without a response. A few minutes later I was trying to make my way to the door and had to walk past him and his friends. In retrospect, his facial expression did carry a look of surprise, so maybe he didn’t know I was there. I walked by with nothing more than an “excuse me”. He just looked at me with his mouth gaping open. Now begins the onslaught of texts. He couldn’t believe I would walk past him and not say anything. I told him to stop being spoiled. He continues to send his messages; I continue to delete them unanswered. Eventually, he drinks up enough courage to come over and speak to me face to face. We exchange a few words and I walk away to go speak to someone else. When I decide to leave, he begins begging me to meet him somewhere afterwards. I’m not having it and tell him as much.
His actions on Friday only reconfirmed for me that I was about sex to him. Why else are you texting me at 10pm at night, and you’re out drinking, talking about you’ve been thinking about me all day. That was supposed to be the beginning of the set up but I ruined his plans by being present and having a brain. I am so tired of being nothing than more than a piece of ass for some man to “tap”. I love sex, and I am a sexual person, but I’m really tired of people mistaking my openness and honesty for stupidity. I would really like to get into a man’s head literally. I would like to know if they have a conscience or care about how what they do affects the other person. I can’t tell that many of them do.
At any rate, I feel like I passed a test. I was able to decipher the signs, check my feelings and act. A few years ago it would not have been that easy and I would have been typing this two-five years from now. Oh well, time not wasted is time saved.
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