A Moment to Vent

I've heard sometime in my past that the people you date are a reflection of the different you's and the things in them that piss you off are the things that you need to work on in your own life.

My friends often tell me that sometimes my sarcasm and my shortness over the phone is a bit irritating. A couple of them even complain that I can be really mean, something I don't deny, but that's a risk you take when you call me (especially if you call on Saturday before 12p). You never know what kind of mood I may be in that day at that moment. SO perhaps BD2 is reflecting that back to me.

I know he's been angry since our court date turned so wonderfully in our daughter's favor (mine by extension). Needless to say our conversations don't happen as regularly, but when they do they very rarely end on a good note. I've been trying to keep a flat affect when I speak to him because I'm quite sure he's trying to get a reaction out of me, but the past couple of weeks have truly been a test on my ability to remain calm. I don't know if it's the age difference, the lack of sex, the mounting stress from the bills or what but I swear if he continues to talk to me like I am his child, there will be an unleashing he has yet to see. How you gonna raise your voice at me because your phone is messing up and I have to ask you the same question three times to hear your reply. Then you have the nerve to blow up my phones the next day because I'm refusing to answer your calls. And now you want to lecture me on calling you as opposed to texting you when it comes to matters that involve our daughter particularly since you have such a crap phone. It has never occurred to him that perhaps I'm avoiding having a direct conversation with him because he's an ass?

I have to admit I am very proud of the self control I have been demonstrating. He's called to make other arrangements almost every night that he's suppose to have our daughter the last couple of weeks and I have willingly obliged. He can't pick her up from school, fine, I will get her and let him pick her up from my house, whatever it takes for them to have time together (and me to have some breathing room). I ask for the same and I get the run around. Thank goodness I have good people in my life who love my kids and love me and want to see me have a life too.

Men wonder why baby mommas show out on them... Of course, I can't speak for all, but when you are everything to everybody AND you go out of your way to make things easier for him, it's real easy to snap when you don't receive the same consideration in return. In a lot of instances, it takes us snapping before you act like you have an ounce of humanity in you.

I guess the best I can do is to overlook his attitude and next time he wants to change visitation plans, I will let him work that out without my help the same way I have to do any time I have a show to do or I have to go out of town for business, etc. Maybe once we start letting baby daddies walk a mile in our shoes and deal with the frustration of finding a sitter or canceling plans or risk getting fired then they will be a little bit more understanding of our situations, and perhaps the conversations will get a little easier and generousity will be extended from all sides.