I really did plan to write something to the ladies today, but I need to address the men one more time. Men, those of you who are fathers, I am curios to know what is your definition of fatherhood? What does it mean to you to be a father to your child? Do you only look at the fun aspect, the going on outings, playing at home, watching movies, or do you think about fatherhood holistically?
Do you understand that being a parent isn’t just about throwing the baby up in the air and then handing him over to his mother? Do you understand that sometimes as a parent you have to sacrifice what you want in order to do what the baby/child needs? Do you understand that sometimes you have to make choices between your job or career and what’s best for child?
Being a parent means delivering and doing for another person even when there is no one there to cheer for you. Sometimes all you have is the silent, personal satisfaction of knowing that you did what you needed to do for your child. Sometimes all you have is the hug, kiss, smile, or adoration of a little person who loves you unconditionally, and at the end of the day that means so much more than any award you could ever receive.
Being a co-parent means working with your child’s mother by: being on time, providing enough notification when schedules change, showing up for your child’s functions, helping with homework, doing hair and just helping her to carry the load, whatever that means for your situation. Be an active parent in your child’s life, not just someone who’s there when it’s convenient or beneficial for you.
While I am directing this towards the men, I guess we women can take something from this as well. BEFORE you have a baby with someone, perhaps you should ask him what his idea of fatherhood really is. Trust me when I say, finding out after the fact can lead you disappointed and shouldering all of the responsibility by yourself.
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