I have a friend, a rent-a-husband of sorts. We've known each other for 11 years now, he has been known to watch my kids, help me move, fix my car and give me massages (he's a mechanic and licensed massage therapist and I do pay for these services). There's just one little problem, his wife. When they were dating their relationship wasn't that great. Even his physician told him she wasn't good for his health and he needed to let her go. As friends we provided him with an ear and our advice, but in the end he chose to marry her. She hates his female friends and rarely does she say anything past a general hello. The last time I saw her and she spoke I didn't even realize she was speaking to me because that's how rare it is for her to strike up a conversation. Anywho, on Sunday I received a text to send her my address. I ignored it. Today, he sent me a text requesting that I send her my address so she could send me an invitation to the babyshower. Instead of telling him that I didn't want to attend the shower and pretend to be friendly with her and people I don't know, I just used the convenient excuse that I had a fundraiser planned for the date of the shower and I would just give him the gift.
Am I wrong? Am I being a bad friend and unsupportive? How long do you stand on the sideline and watch your friend be hurt and not say anything or walk away altogether? Or should I just suck it up and play the good friend and join the party?
2 comments:
MZB, appreciate the comments. The rent-a-husband title was actually given to him by another friend because of all the things he does for me. To answer your question directly, there are no romantic interests there whatsoever. We just friends. I was actually kind of touched when he introduced me to his mom and family as his "other best friend" at his wedding reception.
To answer your other question, I don't want to attend the shower because I don't want to fake being friends with his wife and I don't know any of her friends or family. Like I said, she rarely speaks and whenever he's on the phone with a female friend, me included, she gets upset so I try to keep our conversations to a minimum.
Yeah, I've decided to just drop off or send a gift. It's hard for me to hide my true feelings so no need in going to the shower and sitting there with a frown on my face or arms crossed the whole time.
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